Thanksgiving anxieties

Thanksgiving is fast approaching and this will be my first time as hostess for the feast. More importantly, my mother is coming for a visit and it will be her first visit since we began formally practicing DD.  My mother is a woman with a good heart but who sees every man as someone who is looking for a reason to hurt men. While she likes my husband, what she will say when she sees me asking permission for things or doing as I’m told, I can only imagine.  I am not about to just give up our lifestyle while she’s here, but I almost wish she wasn’t coming. HOH doesn’t seem concerned in the slightest, her opinion matters very little to him. I should really follow suit. However, I have a difficult time taking criticism from my mother and she always seems to have spades to offer.
She says things like “I don’t know how he can stand living with you in that mess.” Which is her way of saying my house is not clean to her standards. I know she means well and has absolutely no idea that her words are so stinging though I’ve informed her countless times.  She also crosses boundaries with the children.  Encouraging them to ask for toys just because (we encourage them to work for what they want ), or telling them things we’d rather our children didn’t know.
I know HOH won’t stand for her criticism long before he puts her in her place, but then what happens is she says something to me about how “cold” he was to her or something like that.  Then I argue with her, because I’m not about to stand and listen to her talk about him as if he were anything less than the kind, respectable and loving man that he is, but I don’t want to argue.  I frankly just don’t want to deal with it. 
Of course, this is all just conjecture.  Everything could go fabulously…. but I doubt it and I’m trying to be realistic.  What I want most of all is to  just tell her the truth, but she would fly off the handle before I finished my sentence. I very much dislike that a lifestyle that brings me so much joy must remain a secret.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Thanksgiving anxieties

  1. I very much understand. We are just talking about it right now but I know my family will never accept this. However I want to feel protected and loved.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s