Issues and frustrations

My Hoh’s exwife is a completely wretched human being and I’m fairly positive she fits all of of the DSM-5 criteria for Dissociative Personality Disorder, leaning toward text-book psychopath. I never understood how my husband could have been with someone like her. According to him he was never happy and knows she’s not a good person. But I still notice him defending her. This person never does anything unless it directly benefits her, and yet he’s always surprised to learn that she’s neglected the children or done something just to manipulate him. I’m extremely frustrated with this, and it happens every time we have the kids. I feel guilty for letting it upset me and so I don’t get angry at him and when he asks what’s wrong, I don’t say anything. I can’t force him to see her for what she is, a vicious  psychopath. He just assumes she has human emotions or actually cares about the children for more than what they get her. I’m not  exaggerating, she really is that cold.
I’m not sure how to deal with this.
The fact that he sees her as a good person  scares me. Even after all she has done to him and the children, he assumes she’s capable of empathy, or genuine love and she isn’t. I’ve known too many people like her to not know what her violent and unpredictable nature means. I wonder if his seeing her this way makes him vulnerable to her manipulation.  She’s succeeded more than once in getting him to do things for her just by throwing a fit and guilting him in to it. I’m hurt and frustrated and I almost feel betrayed. Why is it so hard for me? Maybe because I’ve been in this position before and the psychopath always won. I can’t compete with someone without conscience whose willing to go to any lengths to get what they want and what she want is my husband. I feel so helpless.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s