To pick a fight…

I always wondered why in the world anyone would pick a fight with a spouse on purpose. What possible good could come of that? Always seemed super illogical to me, that is, until this morning.

I want attention. He’s been so distracted lately, and the usual attention that I get hasn’t really been there. He’s even been very lax with the rules, allowing me to get away with things he normally would not. I’m feeling utterly neglected and found myself with an urge to pick a fight just to get him to focus on me. I’m not normally this insecure, but I’ve been on this PMS roller coaster that’s way worse than usual, plus I’ve had a kidney infection and pneumonia this past week as well so I’m just crazy emotional and need affection so badly. I feel like if I tell him it will ruin it, and it would make him feel bad. Not like I can just traipse about the house naked to get his attention as I’ve done before. But if I push him… that maybe he will get angry and give me a good paddling, which isn’t fun, but afterwords I always feel so attended to, and cared for…. I really need that right now.

However, as tempting as it is, I don’t think that picking a fight is the solution to my problem…. especially because we never fight and he would probably think I’d lost my mind. So, perhaps I’ll just crawl across his lap and hope for the best….


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