A series of recent events, has me thinking over and over about how we got started with domestic discipline and how I’ve mentored others into the lifestyle. I decided it would be beneficial to compile my experience in one spot. So here it is, for your reading pleasure, the wisdom and teachings of a successful (mostly successful) sub:
Step 1: Basics of the basics…
Get these DVD’s and watch them with your partner…. hang on every. single. word.
http://loveandrespect.com/store/love-and-respect-dvds.html
Love and Respect, By Emerson Eggrichs
Why this? Because, while this has nothing to do with spanking or rules or timeouts, these are necessary attitudes a couple must have toward each other in order to be successful. She must submit out of respect, and he must discipline out of love.
Step 2: Now comes the DD…
Go to learningDD.com and download the Beginners Packet. Read through it together, and any other piece of literature in there that you may think you could find helpful…. you can never be too educated on your own chosen lifestyle* rule of thumb.
Step 3: The list, the contract, the commitment…
Each of you make a list of what you’d like to get out of domestic discipline. Don’t be shy about it either. Be honest. When you’ve both finished, ask yourselves what the other person can do in the relationship to achieve meeting each other’s needs. Then, put your heads together and write up a contract stating the responsibilities of each person, and then rules for the sub. Proof read it, then sleep on it. Practice it in your head. Are these reasonable goals for us? Once you are both confident your contract is a fair and complete contract (subs: there may be rules and punishments you don’t like and will be challenging, but this isn’t meant to easy. Only, negotiate rules and punishments if they are absolutely unreasonable. HOH’s be fair.) sign it, frame it, hang it in your bedroom.
Step 4: The hard part….
Okay, well… That was easy right? Now what? Now you DO IT!
Subs: Think about how you speak to your Hoh. You should be building him up with every word even if you disagree with him, you must still be respectful. Stay in your role at all times, it’s going to be hard, but you MUST do this in order to be successful.
HOH’s: She broke a rule…. yes you have to punish her and no, you can’t let it slide. Be loving but firm. Don’t skimp on the after care, but get your point across. Stay in your role. You have the final say. The world is on YOUR shoulders, and YOU are the leader. Be the leader when you sleep, eat, bathe, when you have a bad day, good day, feeling lazy, feel energetic… always… be …. the leader.
Okay, folks…. if you’ve made it this far congratulations! You CAN do this. If you’re stuck a long the way. Give it time. This doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Go at your own pace. Good luck!!
DD: The Way We Are 
I totally agree with ecery word. Well said
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Or, to get a much fuller gamut of personal experience, options and different insights,simply Google “Domestic Discipline” to find a wealth of websites, blogs and forums dating back to the late 1990s, each of which has its own article or articles dedicated to the business of beginning DD.
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Agreed, like I stated there are many other resources, I’ve only mentioned a few, and what I’ve learned is the best source of information from my experience. Many people are overwhelmed by the wealth of information and become confused and overwhelmed. I’ve seen that a lot in groups and forums from new couples. This is not, by any means a guide for every couple, and there is a wealth of more information out there.
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learningDD.com is down, where can I get the Beginners Packet?
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My husband and I practiced DD long before it was given a name or at least we had heard it. I was the dispatcher at his father’s construction company. We had been dating about a year. I mixed up the work orders and sent him to the wrong place at the wrong time.
We’d been dating about a year.
He ordered me to bend over my desk, pulled my dress up and my panties down and wore my butt out with a ruler.
I was not shocked or insulted. I didn’t look around to see if anyone was looking. I instinctually did what I was told. That’s how I knew he was the one, because obedience and submission came naturally. There was no doubt this was the man God intended for me.
Ten years and still going strong.
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